She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Ketchup is God's man juice
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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