Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i love accidental penises.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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