When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
