You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
