I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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