I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
