I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
