i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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