Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
