More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
