ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
