More tranny stories later!
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
