My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
The struggles of a small town man whore
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
