you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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