His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
