dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
