...so i touched it.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
