you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
