Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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