Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
