The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
