Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
