My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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