Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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