Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
