this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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