so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
