Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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