yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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