Porn is love you can see.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
