when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
