My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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