It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
