It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
