The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
