There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
