Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
