Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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