He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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