totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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