I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
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Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
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I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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