They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
