if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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