love makes seman taste better
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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