I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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