You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Drunk is a universal language darling
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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