dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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