dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
