drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
