i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
