In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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