I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
