question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we're making bets on your personal life
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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