dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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