thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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