So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize