I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
