I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
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all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
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That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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