You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
