I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
