Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I love you.
Bad choice
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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