I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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