you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
