Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
