my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize