there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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